When you start your sophomore year of High School you think about how the year is going to go, how many new friends you will make, what you are going to wear, and marking your calendar for when all the school dances and football games are going to be. I started my sophomore year with losing my cousin to a guy driving a full-size pickup and drugs in his system and already on bail for pending felony DUI. September 5th, 2008 is when my whole world changed. I vividly remember that day. I was at my High School football game with one of my best friends. I got a ride from one of my friend's mom so after the game was we were waiting for her to pick us up and if you know Copper Hills after a football game the parking lot was a mess. I got a text message from my dad saying "Hurry home". The first thought I had was crap I'm probably in trouble for not having my room cleaned. That was the rule in the house that if you wanted to go do something your room was cleaned and my dad was strict when it came to stuff like that, which I am grateful for now. Casey's mom finally picked us up and I was nervous in the car that I was going to get yelled at. I hurry and walked into the house and I knew something was wrong. I looked at my mom and she was crying. My mom cries a lot but I knew it was a bad cry. My dad started to try and tell me the news and he couldn't even tell me he was so upset. My mom pulled everything together and told me "Chelise was in a car crash tonight" I first asked her "Is she okay?" and thinking lets get in the car and go up to whatever hospital she it at. And then my mom told me "No she didn't make it." I clasped to the ground crying and to this day I remember the exact place where I was standing and what I was wearing. I cried that whole night. I called my best friend Kirsten but she was helping the band people put things away and wasn't answering. I called another band member and told them to find her and call me. Kirsten called me and I was in tears telling her what happened. You never think about having things like this happen to you. Yeah you know one day your grandparents will get old and pass away but you never think that your cousin that is your age would get killed in a car crash. Chelise's dad was going to be home from his tour in Iraq in 10 days. Within 36 hours of her death my uncle came home from his tour and within 3 hours of stepping off the plane my aunt and uncle were selecting a casket for their teenage daughter. This wasn't the homecoming anyone thought would happen. Chelise and I had a rough relationship. We fought a lot as younger kids and as teenagers but we did have fun times together. I would sleep over there as much as I could since it was a drive to get there. I remember eating cereal in the mornings out of my aunts black bowls, playing Barbie’s together, and waiting until the younger kids went down for a nap to walk down to the ice cream shop and get ice cream together. While we were walking we would look at all the houses and point at which one we wanted if we could have any house we wanted. We painted rocks together and put them by my aunt’s pond that was by the side of the house. Our grandma had nicknames for both of us, mine was Georgette and Chelise’s was Charley and she hated it. I don't know where my grandma got these names for us but I always thought it was funny. When we would have family parties we would both fight over the rest of my aunts’ pasta salad. My aunt still makes it for parties and I also think about Chelise. I wish I could go back and add more memories like that and take away all the fighting. I regret all of our fighting and how our relationship ended. I wish I could take a lot of things back and that's something I will always carry with me. I remember her funeral and all her friends crying specially the others that were in the car with her. Chelise was the only one that didn't make it in that crash while the others had injuries. I remember seeing Trevor walking with his crutches and wearing a cowboy hat. He was also in the car that night. He was crying when he was walking past the closed casket and it made me think about everything he saw. I would be crushed if I was in that situation with my best friend. After the funeral was over we went to the grave site which is down the street from my aunt’s house (Chelise's mom) and said goodbye. While we were driving home from the funeral the sunset was so beautiful and orange. That was her favorite color and seeing the sky in bright orange was a sign that it was her. Whenever I go visit my aunt I would take a walk alone to see Chelise. I know she isn't there but I would talk to her about things and tell her I was sorry about all the fighting and how much I missed her. I would tell her all the time how much I regret how our relationship ended and always wonder how she felt too. It has taken me years to not feel so guilty about things and to be able to look back at all the great fun times we had together. There has been a couple times were I swear I see her and one time I thought I saw her sitting on the gliding chair we had in the living room through the mirror I glanced at. About a year again I had this very vivid dream about her which was the first dream I had about her in years. In the dream she was alive and okay and I started running to her and crying telling her I was sorry and we hugged each other and I woke up thinking the dream was real. I remember waking up feeling that the hug we had in my dream was real. I had woken up with this weight that was lifted and I was feeling better and was able to start looking at the positive in my relationship with her. Since that dream I have had a better look at my life and my relationship with her. I will talk about what happened to the driver of the other car in a future post and believe me he got what he deserved and I will never forgive him of his stupid action. Please don't let your friends or family drive drunk and/or high not only for their safety but for the safety of others on the roads and sidewalks. I have always been against drunk driving and I have had a couple times of taking away keys from people that are years older than me and I'm not afraid to keep doing that. My aunt had the opportunity to write her story along with other parents and family members of different people that have had this happen to them take a chance and read some of the stories along with my aunts take on it. Hopefully it works and if it doesn't just google 'thirteen stories we'd rather not tell 2008.' There is also a place with a monument I believe it's called Celebration of life monument where Chelise's name was put as an organ donor. http://www.dontdrivestupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Yearbook_08.pdf
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I have two older siblings 1 brother (Nick) and 1 sister (Amber) who is the oldest. She hated when I would take her clothes and now I can't even fit in most of her clothes since she is so small! When she was I think 16 she had to have back surgery because she has scoliosis and then when she was about 21 she had opened heart surgery because one of the arteries was the size of the tip of a pen which it should be the size of a coin. The artery wasn't getting enough blood through it and she would have high blood pressure. Needless to say she has been through a lot when it comes to medical and there would be more in her future. And it is hard seeing someone you look up to specially a sibling go through so much pain and you can't really help them. I would cry when I went to see her in the hospital and when I would talk to her on the phone. While they were doing her open heart surgery they accidently broke a rib or maybe it was a couple ribs I can't remember exactly but I couldn't imagine the pain. When she was going through her heart surgery she was dating a guy name Vernon. He was defiantly different than the other guys she has dated. He was really quiet and Amber talks a lot! He stayed by her side the whole time during the surgery so we all knew they would get married.
In May of 2008 they got married!! It was exciting and the wedding was great and I had my best friend Kirsten there to party with! After everything was done I moved into her old room. I remember it really hit me hard that she wasn't living there anymore. It was just me and my brother and he liked to pick on me a lot. I cried a little the first night she was gone and missed her but I was very happy for her. We have been through a lot together and she has helped me a lot throughout my life and I would always be grateful to her for that! I never said anything to anyone until now but it really sucked for me having my sister out of the house. I always get excited thinking about me and her going shopping for a prom dress for me, which we did for my first prom and I will also post some awesome brace face prom pictures later! But with our age difference (6 years or so I think) I was in middle school and she was married and starting her own family. It took me a while to get use to but we still would see each other and go shopping. I learned a lot from her and looked up to her a lot and I still do. She is the best sister I could ever have and not a lot of people have a sister like I do and I am grateful for having her. Thanks Amber for being the best sister! I have been thinking a lot about starting a blog for some time now. Some of Trents family lives out of state and have asked about Trevin and like seeing pictures since he is growing up so fast! So I thought a blog would be kinda fun to do and I have seen a lot of other people from high school that have started their own blogs. I want to start from the very beginning though from when my life changed a lot. I'm hoping that opening up about what has happened to me in my life will help me get past it all and maybe help someone else that has gone or is going through what I have been through. I have a lot of anxiety and have gone through a lot of hard times specially in the past 3 years so this is going to be a big thing for me and emotional in some post. I will be honest about a lot of things and I will be opening up about a lot of things most people don't know except family. Letting this all out for the first time publically will be hard but I'm hoping it will help and I can get through my past. Not all of my posts are going to be sad and emotional because I do have a great life and a amazing family but everyone has their bad times and I'm going to be opening up about mine. Well I guess it's time to get started!
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AuthorMama of a wild child, 5 little angels, and a great dane and enjoying the wife life! Archives
April 2018
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