Becoming a single mom and being so young my dating situation was interesting. I don't go out to parties when I have a baby to take care of. Before I met Trent I kinda hated dating because guys are not what I was raised to think they are. I met a lot of new people once I became single and most of the guys I met were defiantly not people that I would want Trevin to look up to. Some guys I did become friends with and went on dates with were nice but weren't ready for my situation, which I am grateful for now, or just weren't want I was looking for. It takes a special kind of man to handle my life and my situation and I wasn't sure what I was ready for at the time. I wanted to focus all my time on Trevin and some people can't understand that especially when they didn't have kids.
I never took Trevin around a lot of my friends and there were very few people that have met Trevin. It was about a month after me and Trent started dating that I actually had him meet Trevin for the first time and it wasn't really planned. I had Trent come over to watch a movie with me after Trevin went to bed and Trevin woke up and I asked Trent if he wanted to meet him and he was pretty excited and it melted my heart. It makes me sad seeing how men treat women in this generation. I defiantly will not be raising Trevin or any of my other sons (if we have a boy in the future) to treat women like that. I am not saying all guys are like this but there seems to be a large amount of them that treat women badly and there are women that treat men badly and it's sad seeing how our world has turn into this. I did have a lot of fun meeting new people and starting a new social/dating chapter in my life. I met up with one friend for ice cream and of course I got blue cotton candy and I didn't think that it would turn my whole mouth blue so I was sitting there talking to him with my mouth blue and I didn't realize it until after I got in the car!! That was probably my most embarrassing dating moment ever and when I told Trent about it he laughed at me. There was another time I met up with someone on Valentine's day and we went to Scheels and looked at deer hunting stuff. Yeah it was defiantly as romantic as is sounds but I still laugh about it today whenever I drive pass there. I was going through a really hard time in my life and I didn't know what I really wanted in my life at that point. I had a hard time trusting anyone so it made it harder for me to get out into the world. I honestly thought I wouldn't be in a commitment for a long time and I would stay single for a while and I wasn't really sure if I even wanted a relationship at this point so I wasn't really looking for one. Being single I did learn a lot about life and myself. I learned what I actually wanted in a relationship and in a man for the first time. What I really learned for the first time was not to settle for anyone less then what I deserve because I have settled a lot when it came to dating and it took me a while to learn that I don't need to do that. Coming from someone who settled a lot seriously don't do it especially with relationships.
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After Trevin was born everything in my marriage changed completely. I took about 8 weeks off from work to be with Trevin and those 8 weeks went by way too fast. Once I went back to work I was work 3-11 pm so his biological dad would take care of him when I was at work. I would wake up with Trevin at night, be up with him all day and when he would nap I would wash bottles, get laundry finished and cleaning done, and then I would go to work. That was my routine every day. One night that started the breaking point I had asked his biological dad if he would get up when Trevin started to cry and he told me no. I was exhausted and hadn't gotten any sleep since Trevin had a little hard of a time getting into a sleeping routine. We were living with my parents at the time to save money for a house and were actively looking in about August. My mom helped with cleaning the bottles a lot and helped me with Trevin when she was home and of course my dad would play with him all the time when he got home. His biological dad didn't like living with my parents. He had told me he felt obligated to go upstairs and sit with them while I was at work and he didn't like it.
October 4th exactly a year after finding out I was going to have a baby we split and he went and stayed at a friend’s house. I remember crying to my parents telling them I was getting a divorce and feeling like I disappointed them again. My family supported me 100% throughout the whole time and helped with Trevin. His biological dad would watch him sometimes while I was at work or Trevin would be with my family. My mom and dad helped put Trevin to bed at night. He ended up moving out of his friend’s house and then moving in with his parents. A couple days before Halloween I took Trevin to his grandma's work Halloween party and she told me she wanted me to come over on Halloween to show Trevin's grandpa his Halloween costume. I went over there on Halloween after we went trick or treating with my niece. Trevin's biological dad showed up since he lived there and he walked in and out of the house for about 10 minutes doing something then I finally asked him if he was even going to see Trevin while I had him over there. He had held him for a couple minutes and his mom asked if he wanted to take him to the neighbors and he said he had a party to get to. His parents tried to see if this divorce was really what we wanted and wanted us to talk about it but nothing was going to fix it. I was worried that while I was at work Trevin was being taken around people he shouldn't be around. I had asked who his biological dad was taking him around since he had a lot of friends that like to drink a lot and he got mad at me about it and it turned into a fight. I had planned to meet him at my mom’s work and he was mad that I changed the time or place I can't remember exactly. When I got there I tried talking to him about taking him around certain people and he was getting really mad at me. He took Trevin while he was still in his car seat and I asked if I could kiss him before he takes me and he pushed Trevin into me and I told him I would find someone else to watch Trevin that night since he was getting aggressive and asked him to get his bag from his truck. That's when he crabbed the bag and threw it at me and told me I was a worthless and a waste and then he got in his truck and sped off. I went inside since my mom was working and told her what was going on. He text me saying I'm outside so he could take him and I told him that my family was going to be watching him. I called my dad at work and told him what was going on and he helped me arrange someone to watch Trevin for me. In about November we had somewhat of a routine where he would get him a couple nights while I was at work and bring him home at 8 pm for my parents to get him ready for bed. In about the middle of November I got an email from him while I was at work saying he wasn't living at his parents anymore and he has every right to have Trevin overnight and he was going to take Trevin for the next 2 nights overnight and would bring him back when he went to work since he was off the next two days. He told me he wasn't going to give me his new address either. I went outside and called his mom and asked her where he was at and she said she didn't know. He refused to answer me when I asked where he was at. This was my rock bottom and I cry every time I even think about this. My baby was gone and I didn't know where he was and I couldn't call the police because there were no legal papers yet. This is why I have anxiety with my son and I am extremely protective of him. The next day I got an attorney and we pushed to get a temporary custody with visitation going. I had filed divorce papers before he did this and I filed sole custody with visitation and that set him off and he was extremely mad about it. After Trevin came back home I took some time off from work and he kept asking me when he could have Trevin again and I told him I wanted his new address and to make sure Trevin had somewhere to take naps. He kept asking me if he gave me the new address would I changed the custody I filed for and I told him all I wanted was the address to know where my son was at. He finally gave me his address and told me he was living with a coworker and his girlfriend and her daughter. Me and my dad went to go see this place which was about 5 minutes away from my house and when I walked in I saw a girl he worked with and he had told me that he didn't like her at all. At that very moment I knew what was going on and he was lying yet again and there was no other guy living there. We were still married with a 5 month old baby and he was already living with someone else. I was furious and extremely embarrassed and my dad was livid! You think you can trust someone especially when you have a child with them but I was proven wrong. I lost all trust at during that week. I had a court date set in January and it was the longest and most stressful wait of my life. When the day finally came we finally got a legal custody agreement and I am to be the custodial parent and he would get visitation. I now could breathe easy knowing that Trevin wasn't going to be taken from me like that again. Not knowing where your child is probably the most heartbreaking situation you could ever be in. It was my worst nightmare that I never thought would happen. Looking back at it now I am proud of how I handled everything. I knew (and still do now) that I had to be strong for Trevin and to keep doing what I was doing. Trevin has been my number one priority since day one that I found out I was pregnant and it will always be that way. I hope that Trevin will grow up to be an amazing man and that his childhood and the situation he is in won't affect him. He has a very different and possibly hard situation that he has to live with and I hope that with the support of my family and Trent's we are able to make his life and situation a little easier for him. One June 3rd, 2013 I had a doctor appointment the father went to the appointment but had to go straight to work after. The doctor had pending labors and was running behind so he had to leave for work so yet again I went to another appointment alone. They had taken my blood pressure and it was high so I tried to relax and it was still high. I went into the room for my check up and the doctor asked me how I felt about having a baby this week and I automatically started crying saying "that would be a great anniversary gift since it's tomorrow". She sent me to labor and delivery and had told me if my blood pressure was still high she was going to put me in the books to be induced in a couple days. I was so excited and nervous so they did some more tests and watched my blood pressure and the nurse called my doctor and came back into the room and said "well how about we have the baby today". I almost told her "um is that even a question??” I started panicking since I had to work that day (yes I was crazy and scheduled my maternity time to start a couple days before my due date which wasn't until next week) so I called my dad and told him this baby is coming tonight and of course he told me not to worry about work and he would call my Sgt and then he was on his way to the hospital. I then called the father and he was shocked and I called my mom and sister and they also left work early. I was so hungry since I hadn't eaten and was only allowed flavored ice. My dad, mom and sister were all there and stayed for a while in my room. My sister went home and my parents stayed the rest of the night. I got induced about 2 pm and Trevin was born at 12:34 am on June 4th, 2013. My parents stayed and got to hear his first cry since my room was right by the waiting room and this was such a special moment for them because my 2 nieces were both C-sections. After Trevin was born I was so happy and tired I forgot how hungry I was.
Trevin stayed in the nursery at night and the nurse would come wake me up to feed him or she would bring him in. The first night I was so tired she had to wake me up but the other nights I would automatically wake up and know Trevin needed me and when I started walking to the nursery the nurse would be walking with him and she would always tell me "good timing". It was like I had my mother radar go off at night. I spent most of the nights in the nursery alone since I had decided I wanted to breastfeed him and I didn't really have someone that one to support me with that decision and comfort me while I was feeding him. It was always nice and quiet in the nursery and such a bonding moment with me and my beautiful baby. I didn't have any problems after giving birth and I was able to walk around a lot. The next day after giving birth I was walking around and going to the cafeteria to get real food! I felt really good after giving birth probably because Trevin was so easy and when I started pushing around 11:00 pm he didn't take long to come out. Trevin has always been so easy with everything and I had no trouble with him with getting rid of the bottle and binky when he was 1 but we will see how potty training goes here soon! When I would have my test and ultra sounds done while I was pregnant Trevin he was always growing just fine. When he was born he had jaundice, which seems like a lot of babies get now, and he also had premature lungs. Having both those issues is why they wanted him to stay in the nursery so they could watch him closely and keep him in the lights. When I would go in the nursery in the mornings I would ask how he did and a couple times his oxygen levels dropped to a dangerous point and Trevin was on the line of being put in the NICU. The doctor had come into my room and talked to me about his lungs and his breathing. She wanted to do x-rays to check them and was talking about other options if things got worse. Hearing someone tell you that your baby that you have been carrying and taking care of has something wrong takes a lot of effect on you. Since I was breastfeeding I had a hard time getting Trevin to take a first and it was a lot harder than I thought. My hospital had a breastfeeding class and after the doctor was telling me about other options if Trevin didn't get better I had planned on going to the class. I walked to the classroom and no one was there yet and I was so emotionally exhausted I started to cry and wanted to go back to my room. Luckily the nurse that taught the class came to my room and I explained to her why I didn't go she made time to come help me learn more and work with Trevin one-on-one. That nurse was amazing and so helpful and one of the many reasons why I love my hospital! I got discharged on Friday but Trevin still had to stay but the hospital I was at allowed us to pay to stay in the room I was at unless they filled up the other rooms and needed ours. Of course I was going to stay to be with my baby and luckily it didn't cost much. When they discharged me I went to the store that my mom worked at and everyone was asking where Trevin was and I about cried. I stopped over at my house to get some clean clothes and then headed straight back to the hospital. The doctor didn't know when I would be able to bring Trevin home. The next day the doctor said we could go home and gave us some reflex medicine since he was also having problems with his reflex while eating. I had been in the hospital since Monday and was finally going home with my baby on Saturday!! I'm so grateful that Trevin didn't go to the NICU like my little niece Lexi did. No matter how long your new baby has to stay in the hospital it's hard on every parent. I cried a lot because it was scary not know what was going on and worrying about if this will affect him in the future. Trevin hasn't had any problems with his lungs and you would have never guessed he was born with premature lungs since he talks all the time now and loves to yell! I know some people might look and think that I had a baby young but I knew I was ready for him and I knew I wanted to be a mother. Trevin has changed my entire life and I wouldn't change a thing about it. My main focus as a mother is to give my children the best possible life I can with any situation we are given. I am going to give Trevin the best life he can have possible with the situation we have been given. Trevin is my world and he deserves everything in the world and more. Above is a message I got from a girl that I went to school with and she also has a little girl that is a little younger then Trevin and yes she is SO cute! This is exactly why I am doing my blog. When I hit rock bottom in my life I had no one that I could relate to. My family was supportive about everything that was going on and helped me so much with Trevin, since I work full time and was now a single mother. I want to open up about my life to help other people. No I am not intentionally doing this to make people look bad or put people down, which is why I don't use names unless I know they would be okay with it, but I want other girls that have hit rock bottom know that things can change. My whole life changed several times and the last time it changed Trent came into my life and now things have been amazing. I wouldn't put things on my blog that I wouldn't be okay with testifying in court about, taking a polygraph test, or that other people haven't witnessed.
My blog is here to help people specially other girls that are going through what I have gone through and to have someone to relate to. I want to show people that you have really crappy times in your life but things can completely change into something amazing and you have to stay positive throughout the whole time and you can't give up. One day I was married then a mom then divorced and now I have an amazing and incredible husband and the best little boy in the world. I had to go through the bad to get where I was meant to be in my life. I strongly believe that things happen for a reason and get you to where you are meant to be. Every single event in my life has lead me to Trevin and Trent and without my two boys I don't know where I would be in life. Everything in your life happens for a reason and every person that comes in or out of your life happens for a reason. I now look at my life like an arrow, you have to pull back (the hard times) to get directed to the target (where you are meant to be). With all my difficult times I have learned a lot. I have learned about what people I don't want in my life, what people I do want in my life, and how I want to live my life. I have been put down as a person, been told I was a horrible mom, and so much more but I'm not letting those people control me and my life anymore. I have started taking control of my life and how I will live it. I have let people get to me and bother me but I'm letting it all go. I do what is best for my son and he will always be my number one priority not matter what else happens in our lives. As much as people try to tell me what I'm doing is wrong and how I am a horrible mother I am going to keep doing what I am doing and how I am raising my son. With all the negativity in my life especially since becoming a mother I have worried that my son replace me as a mother and I have spent a lot of time worrying about it and now I know that will never happen and have completely stopped worrying about that. I spend as much time as I can with him and make memories with him that he can always remember and I will continue to do that. I know I have a special mother son relationship with Trevin that will just keep growing and nothing is going to change that or stop it. What I am trying to get a crossed is don't let people bring you down and make your life miserable. It's not worth it and you don't have to let people do that to you! You do whatever is best for you and your life and not worry about other people. I have spent way too much of my time worrying about everyone else’s opinion when I could be making my life better. When you hit rock bottom you will get back up and positive things will happen. There is always something good out of every situation. October 4th, 2012 I woke up at about 4 am and found out I was going to be a mother. This was the best day of my life (next to Trevin being born and meeting Trent and marrying him). I couldn't sleep so I stayed up looking at Pinterest for baby ideas.
He was still touring with his band but he was local for most of the month. I planned on telling his parents and I made a cookie that said 'we're pregnant' and taking it over to their house. We were in Roy, I was working on a Christmas tree that me, my aunt, my cousin, and my sister were doing to celebrate Chelise in the festival of trees. I decorated the cookie there and went to pick him up at the school they were getting ready for since they were playing their the next day. We started to drive back to his parents’ house to tell them and I was really tired from not getting a lot of sleep so I closed my eyes and then I woke up hearing "Shit!!". I woke up and said "what happened?" and I saw red and blue lights going off behind us and he was driving my car. The officer asked for both of our id and he went back to his car and the first thing I asked him was "you don't have any warrants for your arrest do you?" and he had told me no. The officer came back to the car and asked him to get out and they started talking and I was watching what was going on. Then the officer put him in hand cuffs and placed him in the back of the car. He had warrants for tickets he didn't take care of and was being booked into Davis County jail. The officer wasn't the friendliest to me and I was crying and didn't know what to do and I was extremely embarrassed. I was lucky he was getting booked into a different jail then the one I worked at. I called his mom and told her we weren't coming over and what happened then I called my aunt and told her what was going on and she met me over at the jail and helped me find a bail bondsman. She helped me bail him out since we were living pay check to pay check since he wanted to be a rock start so badly. I remember him walking out of the doors smiling and thinking it was funny. He didn't say thank you for getting him out or anything. To this day I wish I would have left him in there and let him figure it out himself and take responsibility for once. That night he got a ticket for going 90 on the freeway. A couple days later we picked up a cake that said 'we're pregnant' since my cookie wasn't good anymore and took it over to his aunt’s house were his parents were at. His grandma from St. George was in town and was also there. They got back from dinner and we brought out the cake and they were all shocked. His sisters’ birthday was on Halloween and I gave her a gift that had a baby shirt in it and she was so excited. I wanted to tell my family until after our first ultra sound and they were also excited. My first ultra sound was in November and I still remember seeing my little baby for the first time. It really hit me hard that day that I was really going to be a mom. They say a woman becomes a mom when she is pregnant and a man becomes a dad when the baby is born and this is defiantly true! Most of my pregnancy I spent working or being home alone with my two dogs. He toured and wasn't ever really home so it was just me and my two dogs Ryder and Honda. Luckily I didn't have much sickness only a couple times throughout my pregnancy. Since we lived in an apartment I had to leash up the dogs to take them to the bathroom. I had cat people that lived in the bottom unit and they would just let their cat outside all the time which was against the rules. One time I was taking out the dogs towards the beginning of my pregnancy and I didn't see the cat at the bottom of the stairs and both the dogs pulled me down the stairs and I went down a flight of stairs and once I finally got them under control I was nervous about the baby. I took another test the next day and it was still positive. I had called the front desk to complain about the cat but nothing ever happened. I'm just grateful Trevin wasn't hurt. I went to most of my doctor appointments alone and they had to set up a special date to find out the gender and of course the father couldn't make it because he was leaving on tour to Vegas that day and he wasn't going to miss going to Vegas... We paid a different ultra sound place to find out the gender so he could be there. When I found it I was having a boy my heart melted and I cried, I was so happy even though I thought it was s girl. I picked out his first name and his middle name is from family on his dads’ side. I was naming him Trevin and the name was set and not to be changed. When I was home alone I would watch Army wives and one of the people on there was named Trevor and I had really started liking that name but wanted to change it a little since his dad had a friend named Trevor and that's how Trevins name was picked! We filled up black balloons with blue confetti and took them to our parents and they popped them to find out the gender. My dad was thrilled!! At my work Christmas party he introduced me to everyone and said "and that's my grandson in there" even though we didn't know the gender yet. I was glad I had my dogs there with me and Ryder would cuddle with me all the time and he was attached to me and Trevin. Since we already knew the gender me, my mom and my sister went to the appointment together. My mom told the nurse "we are just here to make sure the penis didn't fall off" and I laughed so hard!!!! I had some problems with my blood pressure and I was on the line for gestational diabetes. I had to do a lot of test but the gestational test came back okay and thank goodness for my sweet tooth because taking the nasty drink for the test wasn't bad at all!! Since the father was gone a lot it was a lot harder for me especially emotionally. You would think that he would be concerned and call and check up on me at nights but he didn't. In about November or December we got into a fight and he had told me he was talking to another girl that he met through one of his band friends. His excuse ways he was he was depressed and needed someone to talk to. I remember crying in the parking lot at work talking to him telling him I'm home alone pregnant and taking care of the dogs and apartment alone and I wasn't talking to anyone else. I have some great friends at work that comforted me and told me I shouldn't be with him and I wish I would have listened to them. I understand you shouldn't be with someone if you aren't happy but if that's the case then you should end things right and not stepping out of your commitment that you made with them. The months went by and I loved my pregnancy and sometimes I miss it (and no there won't be any like babies anytime soon). I was lucky that there wasn't any problems during my pregnancy, except my blood pressure was high. My sister and mom set up my baby shower which was great and so cute and we had a bbq with his friends and of course they were all drinking. Looking back at all the drinking and parties I am glad Trent doesn't involve himself in things like that. I'm blessed to have Trent in my life now and I can't wait to continue our family in the future. <3 Seriously take this advice from me, listen to your parents! Take their opinion about things very serious because they are looking out for you and want what is best for you. Well I obliviously didn't do that especially after high school and this is what happened when I didn't....
After I graduated I was dating a guy but found out he had cheated on me so I ended it and then I met Trevin's biological dad. We met at work when I was working at a grocery store. We started talking in about June of 2011 and then started dating that July. At the time I was 18 and he was 24 or 25 I can't really remember. He got involved in a band that would travel to middle schools and high schools and put on a show and talk about how much music is important and to be drug free. Within the first month of dating I caught him cheating on me. I noticed he was talking to some girl on facebook and saying things that were completely inappropriate to say while you are in a relationship. Of course I forgave him since he promised it would never happen again (never listen or trust anyone that tells you that!). I supported him with his band traveling by going to practices with him, watching his shows and helping him financially. Before he really started traveling he went to a concert (311) with his friends so I dropped him off at his friends’ house because they were going to ride together. I got a call at work while I was closing the store that he left the concert and was walking home. He lived about 30 to 45 mins away from USANA if you walk and he was drunk. The police pulled him over while he was walking and asking if he needed help getting home and for him to hop over the rail if he was going to keep walking. I hurried with work and went over to the house he was living at the time to see if he was there yet, I worked right down the street from the house. His roommates were there and I asked if he was home and they said no and I told him he left the concert and is walking home drunk. I finally found him at a gas station and he got in my car. I wasn't mad because he wasn't driving drunk but he kept thinking I was mad at him. He had told me that he drank before the concert and at the concert and people were smoking pot around him so he got the second hand high from the pot. I got him home and then I went and got him food. When I got back he didn't want what I got him and decided he would throw the food at me and then throw his phone at the wall behind me almost hitting me. I took the food and ask his roommates if they wanted it and left. He text me the next morning and I told him what he did and of course he didn't remember any of it. I should have ended it right then but I didn't. Once the school year started we talked about a promise ring while he was gone. He had gotten me one and I thought things would get better but they didn't. He was gone usually from Sunday- Friday depending on where they were going. While he was gone it was like a chore to him to call and talk or text me. In October 2011 we got engaged and he used my promise ring as my engagement ring and this did not go over well with my family. My family never liked him and was really upset when we started dating. I wanted to move in with him while he was gone and my dad was really upset about that. From that day when my parents and I had a talk about all this my relationship with my dad changed completely. My dad said some things that really destroyed me and still hurt now. I decided to move in with my sister and brother-in-law for a little while and then moved back in with my parents after a couple of months. When I told my family about the engagement they really questioned him about how he was going to take care of me with all his band stuff. We picked our date June 4th, 2012 and it wasn't until January that my parents help us book the venue. Planning the wedding was extremely hard with all the tension but my parents still helped me with it all and there was a time were the wedding was almost called off because he was talking to that same girl again.. The wedding day came and I got married at 19. Everything was better after the wedding with mine and his relationship since he was home. I was starting my career at the Salt Lake County jail and he was home working at the grocery store until the school year started again. I moved out of my parents’ house and didn't see or talk to them much except at work (my dad was a Sgt at the jail) or when he had family dinners over there. About July I had a gut feeling he was cheating again. I was straight forward and asked him for his password to his facebook and told him I was going to look at it. It sounds crazy girlfriend stalker but I had a strong gut feeling about this. Once he sent me his password I look at his messages and yet again he was talking to several girls. One girl I went to elementary school with I had shown him her bird tattoo that I like a couple weeks earlier and he started talking to her and complementing her on her tattoos. He was even talking to someone else on our wedding day but when I called him to ask questions on our wedding day he said he didn't have time to talk because he had other things to get done for the wedding. I was in tears at this point and I called his sister and told her what was going on because she knew about the previous issues and she told me I could stay with her for a little while and then I packed a bag for me. We shared my car at the time because he sold his to get the apartment since he didn't have much money because he wasn't making really anything to help with all the bills. Since he worked in the morning he would take a lunch and take me to work. When he got home that day I didn't say a word to him. He tried talking to me and hugging me and then he asked me what was wrong. I start going off telling him I knew everything he was doing again and that he promised not to do it again and that he was cheating on our wedding day. I showed him all the messages on his laptop we had gotten him so he could skype me while he was gone and he threw his laptop on the ground and completely shattered the screen. I had to go to work and I told him I had a bag packed to go stay over at his sisters for a while. When I got off work I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I stayed there that night and he slept on the couch. I had a friend at work that was the mental health specialists and I contacted him to see if we could come talk to him about our marriage and he schedule us an appointment. The next day I told him we go see a marriage counselor or we get a divorce so we decided to start seeing a marriage counselor. We would drive up to Ogden once a week and the first visit was intense. I let out everything about the cheating and we decided to keep doing the counseling. It seemed to help and things were getting better. And after about a month or two we started talking about starting our family and having a baby. Senior year was pretty great for me! My brother got engaged and married my sister-in-law and she has a son named Hunter so I got my first nephew! In about September we found out my sister was pregnant!!!! I was so excited and in shock and November we found out she was having a little girl. She was due in I think April or so. Christmas time came around and Amber's husband was working and she wasn't feeling good, it was Christmas day if I remember right. So I stayed with Amber in case she needed someone. With Ambers back and heart surgery I have talked about before it was a hard and difficult pregnancy for her. She would have to go see a heart doctor along with a normal doctor to make sure everything was going okay.
In February Amber was in the hospital and they told her she was going to have the baby and she needed some shots to help with the baby's lungs. Alexis was born at 34 weeks and was considered premature even though she was a little chunk. I remember when I got the first picture of her I didn't look at it because I wanted to see her in person. After Alexis was born we went home and I slept for a couple hours and then straight back to the hospital. My brother-in-law took me back to the NIUC where Alexis would be at for a while until she had to learn how to suck and eat on her own. She had a FULL head of black hair that she gets from her daddy and her weight was normal for a full term baby even though she was premature. Lexi stayed in the NUIC for a while and her first holiday home with us was Easter (she was born in February). When she came home she still had her feeding tube in her nose but she learned how to eat and was perfectly healthy! I didn't get to hold her until she was home and I was so excited to hold her. Lexi is now 4 years-old and a little diva! She loves Disney princesses, dancing and she had an attitude! She is the funniest little girl and always says the funniest things! She is a huge part of my world and I can't wait to see her grow up. Next June will be my 5 year mark from graduating high school! I have a lot of great memories even though my first year of high school started off bad. I did start off the year with my best friend Kirsten, who is now getting married next month! We both registered to take American Sign Language which I fell in love with and was so much easier for me to learn then Spanish and I also did dance and ballroom dance. My senior year I was on the ballroom dance team and that was the most fun time of my life!
I dated a lot in high school and focused way too much on guys. Looking back now I wish I would have focused more on going to college instead of dating. Now when I think about it I would have had more motivation to go to college if I had focused more on that goal. Trust me girls don't focus your whole life around guys in high school!! Have fun and enjoy your friends and focus on your main goals. I dated a guy for years thinking he would go on a mission and I was going to wait for him and get married in the temple but that didn't happen since we ended things while we were in high school. It's not the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend all the time especially in high school. I think now with how much I focused on other things that weren't as important has affected my friendships a lot and my goal to go to college. Some of the guys I dated were really nice and we decided just to be friends, I still even talk to one of them and he came to my wedding, and others just turned out to be jerks in the end. I should have had more fun with my friends and made more memories with them instead of dating. Kirsten and I were like sisters and we went everywhere together. We worked at the middle school cleaning after school was done, we went to church together, and our senior year we became ASL club officers together. We were in charge of setting up the ASL competition we did with other schools around Utah. We defiantly had our ups and downs but we were always there for each other. I wish I had that relationship with her now but she has accomplished a lot with college and is now getting married and I couldn't be anymore happier for her and proud of her! I did have a lot of fun with all my friends even though now we have all gone our separate ways. My plan after high school was to go to UVU for ASL and become an interpreter but the summer after graduation I met Trevin's biological dad and everything changed. Yet again I focused my life around a guy but I will post about that mess of a situation later.. I still think about going back to college since I took some college classes in high school but with working full time and being a mom and wife full time it's been a hard decision for me. I know a lot of moms do it all and go to college but I really want to focus on Trevin and give him all the attention and everything he needs while he is young. I don't want to feel like I didn't give him enough attention while he was little since I have to share my time with him. Maybe in a couple years once my life really starts to settle down it would be an option. I'm not making up excuses for not going to college it was all my decision and sometimes you think you are making the right choice but sometimes they don't turn out the way you think they are going to. I have learned that a lot and the hard way. Take my advice and focus on your main goals and enjoy high school while it lasts. |
AuthorMama of a wild child, 5 little angels, and a great dane and enjoying the wife life! Archives
April 2018
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