After Trevin was born everything in my marriage changed completely. I took about 8 weeks off from work to be with Trevin and those 8 weeks went by way too fast. Once I went back to work I was work 3-11 pm so his biological dad would take care of him when I was at work. I would wake up with Trevin at night, be up with him all day and when he would nap I would wash bottles, get laundry finished and cleaning done, and then I would go to work. That was my routine every day. One night that started the breaking point I had asked his biological dad if he would get up when Trevin started to cry and he told me no. I was exhausted and hadn't gotten any sleep since Trevin had a little hard of a time getting into a sleeping routine. We were living with my parents at the time to save money for a house and were actively looking in about August. My mom helped with cleaning the bottles a lot and helped me with Trevin when she was home and of course my dad would play with him all the time when he got home. His biological dad didn't like living with my parents. He had told me he felt obligated to go upstairs and sit with them while I was at work and he didn't like it.
October 4th exactly a year after finding out I was going to have a baby we split and he went and stayed at a friend’s house. I remember crying to my parents telling them I was getting a divorce and feeling like I disappointed them again. My family supported me 100% throughout the whole time and helped with Trevin. His biological dad would watch him sometimes while I was at work or Trevin would be with my family. My mom and dad helped put Trevin to bed at night. He ended up moving out of his friend’s house and then moving in with his parents. A couple days before Halloween I took Trevin to his grandma's work Halloween party and she told me she wanted me to come over on Halloween to show Trevin's grandpa his Halloween costume. I went over there on Halloween after we went trick or treating with my niece. Trevin's biological dad showed up since he lived there and he walked in and out of the house for about 10 minutes doing something then I finally asked him if he was even going to see Trevin while I had him over there. He had held him for a couple minutes and his mom asked if he wanted to take him to the neighbors and he said he had a party to get to. His parents tried to see if this divorce was really what we wanted and wanted us to talk about it but nothing was going to fix it. I was worried that while I was at work Trevin was being taken around people he shouldn't be around. I had asked who his biological dad was taking him around since he had a lot of friends that like to drink a lot and he got mad at me about it and it turned into a fight. I had planned to meet him at my mom’s work and he was mad that I changed the time or place I can't remember exactly. When I got there I tried talking to him about taking him around certain people and he was getting really mad at me. He took Trevin while he was still in his car seat and I asked if I could kiss him before he takes me and he pushed Trevin into me and I told him I would find someone else to watch Trevin that night since he was getting aggressive and asked him to get his bag from his truck. That's when he crabbed the bag and threw it at me and told me I was a worthless and a waste and then he got in his truck and sped off. I went inside since my mom was working and told her what was going on. He text me saying I'm outside so he could take him and I told him that my family was going to be watching him. I called my dad at work and told him what was going on and he helped me arrange someone to watch Trevin for me. In about November we had somewhat of a routine where he would get him a couple nights while I was at work and bring him home at 8 pm for my parents to get him ready for bed. In about the middle of November I got an email from him while I was at work saying he wasn't living at his parents anymore and he has every right to have Trevin overnight and he was going to take Trevin for the next 2 nights overnight and would bring him back when he went to work since he was off the next two days. He told me he wasn't going to give me his new address either. I went outside and called his mom and asked her where he was at and she said she didn't know. He refused to answer me when I asked where he was at. This was my rock bottom and I cry every time I even think about this. My baby was gone and I didn't know where he was and I couldn't call the police because there were no legal papers yet. This is why I have anxiety with my son and I am extremely protective of him. The next day I got an attorney and we pushed to get a temporary custody with visitation going. I had filed divorce papers before he did this and I filed sole custody with visitation and that set him off and he was extremely mad about it. After Trevin came back home I took some time off from work and he kept asking me when he could have Trevin again and I told him I wanted his new address and to make sure Trevin had somewhere to take naps. He kept asking me if he gave me the new address would I changed the custody I filed for and I told him all I wanted was the address to know where my son was at. He finally gave me his address and told me he was living with a coworker and his girlfriend and her daughter. Me and my dad went to go see this place which was about 5 minutes away from my house and when I walked in I saw a girl he worked with and he had told me that he didn't like her at all. At that very moment I knew what was going on and he was lying yet again and there was no other guy living there. We were still married with a 5 month old baby and he was already living with someone else. I was furious and extremely embarrassed and my dad was livid! You think you can trust someone especially when you have a child with them but I was proven wrong. I lost all trust at during that week. I had a court date set in January and it was the longest and most stressful wait of my life. When the day finally came we finally got a legal custody agreement and I am to be the custodial parent and he would get visitation. I now could breathe easy knowing that Trevin wasn't going to be taken from me like that again. Not knowing where your child is probably the most heartbreaking situation you could ever be in. It was my worst nightmare that I never thought would happen. Looking back at it now I am proud of how I handled everything. I knew (and still do now) that I had to be strong for Trevin and to keep doing what I was doing. Trevin has been my number one priority since day one that I found out I was pregnant and it will always be that way. I hope that Trevin will grow up to be an amazing man and that his childhood and the situation he is in won't affect him. He has a very different and possibly hard situation that he has to live with and I hope that with the support of my family and Trent's we are able to make his life and situation a little easier for him.
1 Comment
Pauline
7/22/2015 05:28:21 am
Everything will be fine now Lindsey don't you worry ❤️
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