Seriously take this advice from me, listen to your parents! Take their opinion about things very serious because they are looking out for you and want what is best for you. Well I obliviously didn't do that especially after high school and this is what happened when I didn't....
After I graduated I was dating a guy but found out he had cheated on me so I ended it and then I met Trevin's biological dad. We met at work when I was working at a grocery store. We started talking in about June of 2011 and then started dating that July. At the time I was 18 and he was 24 or 25 I can't really remember. He got involved in a band that would travel to middle schools and high schools and put on a show and talk about how much music is important and to be drug free. Within the first month of dating I caught him cheating on me. I noticed he was talking to some girl on facebook and saying things that were completely inappropriate to say while you are in a relationship. Of course I forgave him since he promised it would never happen again (never listen or trust anyone that tells you that!). I supported him with his band traveling by going to practices with him, watching his shows and helping him financially. Before he really started traveling he went to a concert (311) with his friends so I dropped him off at his friends’ house because they were going to ride together. I got a call at work while I was closing the store that he left the concert and was walking home. He lived about 30 to 45 mins away from USANA if you walk and he was drunk. The police pulled him over while he was walking and asking if he needed help getting home and for him to hop over the rail if he was going to keep walking. I hurried with work and went over to the house he was living at the time to see if he was there yet, I worked right down the street from the house. His roommates were there and I asked if he was home and they said no and I told him he left the concert and is walking home drunk. I finally found him at a gas station and he got in my car. I wasn't mad because he wasn't driving drunk but he kept thinking I was mad at him. He had told me that he drank before the concert and at the concert and people were smoking pot around him so he got the second hand high from the pot. I got him home and then I went and got him food. When I got back he didn't want what I got him and decided he would throw the food at me and then throw his phone at the wall behind me almost hitting me. I took the food and ask his roommates if they wanted it and left. He text me the next morning and I told him what he did and of course he didn't remember any of it. I should have ended it right then but I didn't. Once the school year started we talked about a promise ring while he was gone. He had gotten me one and I thought things would get better but they didn't. He was gone usually from Sunday- Friday depending on where they were going. While he was gone it was like a chore to him to call and talk or text me. In October 2011 we got engaged and he used my promise ring as my engagement ring and this did not go over well with my family. My family never liked him and was really upset when we started dating. I wanted to move in with him while he was gone and my dad was really upset about that. From that day when my parents and I had a talk about all this my relationship with my dad changed completely. My dad said some things that really destroyed me and still hurt now. I decided to move in with my sister and brother-in-law for a little while and then moved back in with my parents after a couple of months. When I told my family about the engagement they really questioned him about how he was going to take care of me with all his band stuff. We picked our date June 4th, 2012 and it wasn't until January that my parents help us book the venue. Planning the wedding was extremely hard with all the tension but my parents still helped me with it all and there was a time were the wedding was almost called off because he was talking to that same girl again.. The wedding day came and I got married at 19. Everything was better after the wedding with mine and his relationship since he was home. I was starting my career at the Salt Lake County jail and he was home working at the grocery store until the school year started again. I moved out of my parents’ house and didn't see or talk to them much except at work (my dad was a Sgt at the jail) or when he had family dinners over there. About July I had a gut feeling he was cheating again. I was straight forward and asked him for his password to his facebook and told him I was going to look at it. It sounds crazy girlfriend stalker but I had a strong gut feeling about this. Once he sent me his password I look at his messages and yet again he was talking to several girls. One girl I went to elementary school with I had shown him her bird tattoo that I like a couple weeks earlier and he started talking to her and complementing her on her tattoos. He was even talking to someone else on our wedding day but when I called him to ask questions on our wedding day he said he didn't have time to talk because he had other things to get done for the wedding. I was in tears at this point and I called his sister and told her what was going on because she knew about the previous issues and she told me I could stay with her for a little while and then I packed a bag for me. We shared my car at the time because he sold his to get the apartment since he didn't have much money because he wasn't making really anything to help with all the bills. Since he worked in the morning he would take a lunch and take me to work. When he got home that day I didn't say a word to him. He tried talking to me and hugging me and then he asked me what was wrong. I start going off telling him I knew everything he was doing again and that he promised not to do it again and that he was cheating on our wedding day. I showed him all the messages on his laptop we had gotten him so he could skype me while he was gone and he threw his laptop on the ground and completely shattered the screen. I had to go to work and I told him I had a bag packed to go stay over at his sisters for a while. When I got off work I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I stayed there that night and he slept on the couch. I had a friend at work that was the mental health specialists and I contacted him to see if we could come talk to him about our marriage and he schedule us an appointment. The next day I told him we go see a marriage counselor or we get a divorce so we decided to start seeing a marriage counselor. We would drive up to Ogden once a week and the first visit was intense. I let out everything about the cheating and we decided to keep doing the counseling. It seemed to help and things were getting better. And after about a month or two we started talking about starting our family and having a baby.
2 Comments
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7/6/2015 05:38:14 am
Girl, I know exactly how you feel. Well not 100% because I wasn't married young or had a baby. But my relationship in high school completely ruined me. He lied, cheated, promised himself to me, etc. and in the end I'm the one who looked like a fool. Everyone told me what he was doing and I never believed them.
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Pauline Torres
7/6/2015 10:29:22 pm
So sorry for all that you have been through. The day you got married I looked at your pictures and thought...why is she marring this guy??
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