I've had people ask family members how I am doing so I thought I should maybe do an update. So here we go..This Friday it will be one month since we found out our little Emerson wasn't growing and Saturday would have been the day we were finding out the gender. Going back to the beginning of June Trevin was about to turn 3 so we had planned this fun Disney Cars party for him (pictures and how I decorated without spending a ton are coming soon!). We found out on Wednesday that Emerson was gone and Trevins party was on Saturday. My doctor gave me the choice of medication which would start a forced miscarriage or D&C surgery. We had decided to go with the medication since surgery cost a lot and planned on taking the medicine the day after Trevins party. We told our families to tell anyone who knew about the pregnancy not to mention anything about the miscarriage at Trevins party since I was still having a really hard time grasping everything. His party was great and he had a lot of fun! My grandpa, who just lost his wife in March (another post about that will also be coming), was saying goodbye to me and hugged me and started saying he was sorry about everything and I just broke down. It was the first time anyone really said anything in person since we found out. Sunday came and I was emotional all day, taking the pills was emotionally and physically draining. I thought I was done taking the pills on Monday and Tuesday I had an ultrasound and my doctor called later that day and said I needed another round of the medicine and to get blood work done that day. The medicine didn't work the first time nor the second time and I had to take 3 rounds of this shitty medicine and I also had to get blood work done 3 times. It's sad when the phlebotomist remembers you since she has seen you 3 times within a week and a half. "Going through a miscarriage is on the top of my list of the hardest things I've gone through in my life." Once I was finished with all 3 rounds of medication and blood work I was still grieving really bad. I probably cried everyday for the first two or three weeks. Anyone who has gone through a miscarriage will agree it's extremely draining. It's been almost a month since we found out little Emerson left and I'm finally getting some of my energy back. All of the grieving and emotions have come and gone in waves.
I'm still having a hard time with everything but I'm so grateful for my family and most importantly my two boys! We have been staying busy with family and all of our family events and we also bought a trailer! Which means a lot of much needed get aways and smores!!! Thank you to everyone that has asked how we are doing and if we need anything. Now it's just time for us to take things as they come day by day. There will always be a little piece of my heart gone but never forgotten. Love, The Moseleys
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AuthorMama of a wild child, 5 little angels, and a great dane and enjoying the wife life! Archives
April 2018
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